MORSELS OF THE MACABRE: NEWS BITES FROM BEYOND THE DEAD

Hello, hello Mad Loves, John of the Dead here bringing you what will be a semi-regular column from this point out: Morsels of the Macabre. Here, I’ll be collecting a random assemblage of news bits from the world of horror, short, sweet and easy to eat, like brains to a zombie. And here. We. Go:

Paranormal Activity 3 in the works. Word came down that Oren Peli, director of the record-breaking Paranormal Activity and producer of its above-average sequel, has announced that a third film in the found footage franchise is on the way…and it already has a release date: Oct 21, 2011. Looks like Paramount’s Saw-bashing supernatural saga really is becoming THE next Halloween horror must-see, though its not surprising. PA2 has grossed over $80 mil on a $3 million budget, so as long as these things are profitable, the studio will churn them out. PA2 had me hopping like a Mexican jumping bean throughout, and its story actually tied in well with — and even deepened — the sory of part one, but how in Beelzebub’s buttocks can they keep this thing going? I will lay down bets that series star Katie Featherston will once again as her demonically-possessed bad self.

Friday 13 remake sequel being done without Platinum Dunes??? Yippee-kay-yay Motherfuckers! Rumor has it that Warner Bros is going ahead with a sequel to the botched Friday the 13th remake…but are doing it without the involvement of Michael Bay’s insidious Platinum Dunes company. The production outfit best known for ruining classic ’70s/’80s horror with CW-ready revamps couldn’t even get something as simple as a fuckin’ Friday the 13th remake right, so this is good, good news indeed. Now, nothing’s confirmed as of yet, and this is just at rumor stage, but hopefully this will hold, because of Platinum Dunes does produce the sequel, I will have to punch a kindergartner. And I don’t want to do that.  This is news I will definitely keep abreast of and keep you all posted on.

— Buzz, Buzz I’m a Bee… Yet another 30+ year old film is on the remake beat and this time it’s…The Swarm. Yes, The Swarm. Nope, I’m not joking. The Swarm really is being remade. The craptastic ’70s disaster flick (in more ways then one) is on the chopping block, with a new version flying in courtesy of producers Roy Lee and Stephen Schneider. The original movie starred Michael Caine in a story about African killer bees swarming Chicago, and was directed by Irwin Allen (the Roland Emmerich of the Me Decade.) The Swarm is also known as a terrible, bloated and boring film with instantly dated optical FX, so there’s only one place this particular remake can go. If this film is successful, maybe remake-happy producers will turn their attentions on shitty films rather than classics if they can’t think of anything original.

 

— Hard R rating for Drive Angry The pulptastic-looking Nic Cage actioner Drive Angry just got a rating handed down from the MPAA and it looks like its gonna provide some completely gratuitous bliss. The film is getting branded with an R for “strong brutal violence throughout, grisly images, some graphic sexual content, nudity and pervasive language.” In other words, the things that make movies great.

— Poster for The Rite Says it all, right? New Line has just released a poster for its upcoming religious horror flick The Rite. Anthony Hopkins stars in this tale of a skeptical seminarian (Colin O’Donaghue) tutored on the art of exorcism, which is based on Matt Baglio’s non-fiction book The Rite: The Making of A Modern Exorcist. Look for the Mikael (1408) Hafstrom-directed movie January 28th.

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