ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS LEIA ON A WAMPA RUG

Earlier in the month I posted Five Great Gift Ideas For Geeks, and while I was browsing the Internets during lunch looking for gift ideas today I stumbled on to the absolutely amazing Star Wars gift section over at Think Geek. They’ve got some unique and hilarious items for sale over there, like the infamous Tauntaun sleeping bag, and a Boba Fett jetpack backpack; but none are quite as swanky as the Wampa Rug.

Yup, that’s right, nothing says “chick magnet” like a dead snow beast from the ice planet Hoth spread lusciously across the floors in your man cave. The chicks will be lining up to strap on their Leia buns and metal slave girl bikinis to lie across this velvety soft love carcass and grab a hold of your lightsaber to warm themselves on those frosty Hoth nights. Bow-chicka bow-wow!

STUFF GEEKS LIKE #1: ZOMBIES

Welcome to “Stuff Geeks Like”, a new semi-regular feature on LaserCola.com that explores the anthropological reasonings behind the attachments geeks form to a wide variety of genre media and culture. First up, ZOMBIES!!!

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TWI-TARDS CREAM THEIR PANTS OVER PICTURE OF ARM

Twilight fans are complete morons. Aside from believing that Stephenie Myers’ poorly written, juvenile fantasy-fulfillment bullshit is good literature, they also will completely lose their shit and start screaming like banshees at the slightest shred of news from their beloved franchise. Case in point, the above picture of someone’s arm with a few feathers floating around it has inflamed the loins of millions of desperate soccer Moms and insecure teenagers around the world today.

Research has led to me understand that what you are looking at here is the first official image from Chapter 1 of Breaking Dawn, the final film in the Twilight saga. Apparently, it’s Bella’s arm after twinkly boy Edward literally almost kills her during a night of epic sex that sends her head through the headboard and shatters her pelvis. Wow. Better shine them Oscars up, Academy. Breaking Dawn’s a-comin’!