I Wanna Go There!

Christmastime is here once again boys and girls, and that means two things: fighting for parking spots at the mall, and A Christmas Story marathons!

Speaking of Ralphie and friends, a former Navy Intelligence Officer named Brian Jones bought the house used in the movie and decided to restore it exactly as it was in the film! He also set up a small museum in the house which will be open to public. That’s just about the coolest thing I’ve heard in a while. Apparently, this guy also sells replicas of the infamous “leg lamps” as seen in the flick.

Here’s how the house looks today. Check out the full story here.


Slut Trifecta

Holy horrible whores, Batman!

Paris, Ho-han, and Britney together in the same car? Frankly, my brain exploded when I saw this and all of the funny shit I could think of saying here flew right out with it. So we’re gonna have a little caption contest. The person who comes up with the funniest caption for this atrocity of a photo will win a Playstation 3. Only, substitute “Playstation 3” with “my unending appreciation and admiration”, because I don’t really have a Playstation 3. Even if I did, no hilarious comment about these three walking STD’s is worth giving away an easy $2500 Ebay listing for.

Remember kids, floss after brushing and never get your penis anywhere near those car seats.

Reason To Hate The New York Yankees # 134,327

Apparently, New York Yankees shortstop / Lord of all cocky douchebags Derek Jeter is hooking up with Jessica Biel. This news comes not long after he allegedly had sex with the hottest woman on Planet Earth, Scarlett Johannsen. (Not to mention other relationships with Maria Carey and Nick Lachey’s current girlfriend Vanessa Manillo).

For fuck’s sake Derek, why don’t you just come to my house, kick my dog, pour sugar in my gas tank, bitchslap my Mother, then laugh hysterically like the “evil blonde guy” from an 80’s teen movie while you’re at it??? God, I fucking hate the Yankees. Somebody put a stop to this!

The NEW Internet, Now With Only 1% Porn!!!

I’m not sure I buy this, but according to this article, the Internet is only 1% porn.

In spite of the seeming ubiquity of pornographic material on the interwebs, only one percent of webpages are porn, according to a study commisioned by the US Government.

UPDATE: After doing some extensive research, this study turns out to be true. Here’s how the other 99% of Internet content breaks down:

24%-Coverage of the Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii launches, complete with stories about rich douchebags paying hobos to sit in line for them so they can purchase multiple units and sell them on ebay.
6%-Web gambling and Texas Hold ’em sites.
4% -Travel and vacation sites.
12%-World of Warcraft nerd websites, chock full of weird drawings of naked elves and creepy fan-fiction stories detailing the hideous sexual exploits of wizards and mountain trolls.
8%-Ebay and other auction sites.
45%-Shitty blogs full of people bitching and whining about their pathetic lives.

Finally today, here’s a little something to get you in the Christmas spirit…Twisted Sister style: